Dark Goddess Read online

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  Sera exhaled slowly, guilty heat rising in her cheeks. She had missed the last meeting—for no reason other than that she hadn’t felt like going. She hadn’t wanted to sit through hours of tedious details about the statuses of the various portals between the realms. Though her parents hadn’t made a big deal of her refusal to go, Sera knew that she had disappointed them.

  The truth was, some days she was fine with being a goddess, and all the responsibilities that entailed: keeping demons and humans where they belonged, and making sure mortals were safe. Other days . . . well, it wasn’t always easy to be responsible for the fate of everyone. She was only seventeen, for heaven’s sake—as she’d reminded her mother just the week before.

  “What teenager behaves like a full-grown adult all the time?” Sera had cried in frustration.

  “One who understands the significance of the lives she has lived. And you’re not exactly a teenager, are you?”

  Sera had rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t mean I’m a thousand years old in this life. I just want to be normal this year. I want to think about senior prom and dresses, getting into college and having fun.” The words had felt stupid and immature to her, even at the time, but something perverse had driven her to say them. Maybe it was part of the darkness that crept within her—her shadowy side that allowed her to survive in Xibalba.

  Her mother had smiled sadly. “That’s not your karma.”

  Karma. According to Sera’s mother, her entire future existence was set. In freaking stone.

  “I didn’t ask for any of this,” she had said.

  “I know it’s hard, but we don’t choose who we are. We choose who we become. If you decide to be a teen who wants to do all those things and live a normal life, then I cannot stop you.”

  Of course not. But the consequences of her decision would fall squarely on her shoulders. She had shaken her head miserably. “But if I do that, the Mortal Realm will be defenseless.”

  “Perhaps. Perhaps not. Humans are stronger than we give them credit for.”

  “I can’t just abandon them.” Sera had sighed. “I can’t escape who I am, can I? I’m sorry for being such a brat. It’s too much sometimes. I feel like I’m going to break apart from the pressure.”

  “I know it’s hard, my love, but it will get easier, I promise.”

  “How?”

  “Same as everything else, one day at a time,” her mother had replied. “It’s the action, not the fruit of the action, that’s important. Mahatma Gandhi said that. You only need to try.”

  Trying aside, everything had happened so quickly after Sera learned her true identity that she hadn’t had enough time to process it all. Whenever she thought about any of it—her exposure to Xibalba, Jude and the Preta, her uncle’s betrayal, the final battle with Ra’al and the Kali rakshasa—it seemed too fantastical to be real. Like a terrible dream. But none of it was a dream. It was the harsh reality. They lived in a world of monsters and gods. And she was its cornerstone.

  Her mother was right. She couldn’t not try. Not even when she felt like burying her head in the proverbial sand.

  Sera swallowed hard at the memory of their fight and focused on Beth. “What happened at the meeting? What did the Ne’feri say?”

  “That when the portal was open during the demon apocalypse, more demons might have made it through than we thought. It’s getting harder and harder to find the ones that escaped.” She paused, taking a deep breath and dropping her voice to a whisper. “Ever since that portal was created, there’ve been dozens more rakshasas appearing.”

  “But the portal was closed,” Sera said. “We destroyed it. How are more of them getting through?”

  “We don’t know.”

  Sera shook her head. “That doesn’t make sense. Rakshasas can’t just appear out of nowhere—it goes against the laws of the realms. Are we talking about lower level demons, or something bigger?”

  The thought of any of the Demon Lords, the powerful Azura who controlled the seven hells in Xibalba, making an appearance was a sickening one.

  “No, just the smaller ones.”

  “There has to be a fissure somewhere, something we’re not seeing. What are the other Ne’feri Orders saying?”

  “The ones on the west coast are seeing the same thing,” Beth said. “Lots of demons. All lower for now, but it feels like something big is on the verge of happening. As if they’re . . . waiting for something.”

  “Waiting for what?”

  Beth shrugged, but her eyes were troubled. “I don’t know. Here’s the thing: more of them seem to appear when—”

  But Beth’s words lodged in her throat as time literally came to a halt. The gilded dust shimmering in the bands of sunlight from the windows froze, and only Beth and Sera were left moving. Beth’s eyelashes swept closed in slow motion as she blinked, her lips parting on a silent exhale.

  And then came a heavy rustling of deifyre wings.

  Along with the materialization of other immortals.

  An eerie quiet descended when two Yoddha appeared. One Sera didn’t recognize, but the other was Mara, who Sera had learned was the sister of Maeve, a seasoned Yoddha who had died at Sera’s uncle’s hands months before. Mara was all bronze-colored limbs and luminescent gold deifyre—the bright goddess aura they wore like a veil. Mara’s resemblance to Maeve always made something in Sera’s chest ache—a reminder of the loss, perhaps.

  Mara floated to the ground and bowed to Sera before turning to Beth and saying, in a voice like wind chimes, “Enough. It is not the time.”

  Sera flushed. She was still not used to the deference the powerful warrior deities showed her, or the fact that they served her. But then Mara’s words registered. Sera’s eyes narrowed and she forgot her discomfort. “What’s not the time?”

  “The Lord Protector will discuss it further with you, Eminence.”

  Cringing at the address, Sera sucked air through her teeth in frustration. That would be all well and good if the Lord Protector were here, but Dev was far away, on another plane of existence. And he had been for some time. “Explain it now.”

  “I cannot.” Mara bowed again, the deference at odds with her refusal. “I am sorry, my lady. This is the Lord Protector’s command.”

  Humiliation heated Sera’s cheeks. What was the point of being some unique, all-powerful immortal if everyone treated her like a child? And by Dev’s order, no less! The Lord Protector knew best, did he? Well, she wanted to punch him right in his arrogant, know-it-all nose.

  Her eyes slid to the deity at Mara’s side. “Who’s this?” Sera asked brusquely to cover her embarrassment. Unlike Mara, the stranger was pale-skinned and slight in stature.

  “Ilani. She’s in training.”

  “Lucky for her she got you for babysitting duty.” Sera couldn’t stop the sour words from slipping from her mouth, but she only felt worse when she saw the slight tremor of Mara’s lips. None of this was Mara’s fault—she was only doing what Dev and the Trimurtas felt were best. How could the Yoddha trust her when it appeared that even Dev himself didn’t?

  “That is not it,” Mara said, as if reading her mind.

  Sera frowned, unable to recall whether the Yoddha could read the minds of other immortals. “Not what?” she asked carefully.

  “That they don’t trust you.”

  “I wasn’t—”

  “It is written all over your face.” She cleared her throat. “They want you to be safe, and since you are not where you belong, at the Protector’s side in Illysia, they worry for you. Your mother and Lord Devendra especially.”

  Sera drummed her fingers on the table, fighting frustration and shame in equal measure. She knew exactly what everyone was so worried about, and it had nothing to do with her safety. It had to do with theirs. Dev may have asked her to return with him to Illysia, but Sera was sure that the Trimurtas wanted her right where she was. They feared her—feared what she was capable of because of the power that lived within her.

  Power
both light and dark.

  Of Illysia and Xibalba.

  Her eyes drifted to the sigils on each of her palms—the one on her left hand that marked her as a goddess of light, and its twin on her right that marked her as its opposite. As the only known goddess who could travel to and survive in the Dark Realms, she was an anomaly. And therefore a risk. Though she had chosen to remain in the Mortal Realm for her own reasons, a part of her had understood that she would never be truly welcomed to Illysia . . . not while she was tethered to Xibalba.

  She glanced at Beth, who seemed stunned by the sudden appearance of the warrior deities, and Mara’s curt command. Sera frowned. “Is that all?” she said coolly to Mara. “You wanted to stop Beth from sharing a secret that only the great and powerful Wizard of Oz can tell me?”

  Mara frowned. “Wizard of who?”

  “It’s a movie about an evil overlord magician. Forget it.” Sera rolled her eyes as Mara and Ilani prepared to take their leave. “Wait, were you guys here the whole time?”

  “We are always here.”

  “Oh, wonderful.”

  The corner of Mara’s lips curled upward at Sera’s sarcastic tone, and she leaned down to whisper something to Beth before shimmering out of sight. Time resumed its normal passage.

  “What did she say to you just then?” Sera asked.

  The dazed look slipped from Beth’s face, and she shook her head as if to clear it. “That the bell was about to ring.”

  Sera’s jaw dropped open in disbelief. “That’s what she told you?”

  “Yes.”

  Sure enough, seconds later a tone sounded from the speakers at the far end of the library, signaling the end of the period. Sera gathered her things, her eyes on Beth, who still seemed somewhat disoriented. She’d bet anything that that wasn’t the only thing Mara had whispered to her. Beth had been about to explain something she suspected about the appearance of the lower level demons. But why would the Yoddha keep something like that from her, of all people?

  And why would Dev command them to?

  She made one last-ditch effort before leaving the library. “Beth, what were you about to tell me before, about the demons?”

  “What demons?”

  “The ones who—Never mind,” Sera said, breaking off mid-sentence as a group of sophomores entered the stacks in a noisy line. She sighed in frustration and stared up at the vaulted glass ceiling. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise. No doubt Mara and her protégée were both hiding somewhere above, watching, reporting every word back to Dev. “I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”

  “See you,” Beth said, as if they’d been discussing nothing but the weather.

  Shaking her head, Sera made a mental note to take it up with her mother. Unless Dev had told her not to say anything either. Her aggravation doubled.

  She was so caught up in her irritation that as she stopped by her locker to grab her books for advanced calc after lunch, she didn’t see the Frisbee flying in her direction until it clocked her in the back. “What the heck?” she cried, rubbing her sore shoulder.

  “Sorry, my bad,” a boy said as she turned to face him. His teeth glowed against the tan skin of his face and the lock of dark hair curling into his eyes. He collected the Frisbee from the floor beneath her, tucking it under his arm with another of those incandescently bright smiles. “Sera, is that you?”

  She blinked. “Do I know you?”

  “You don’t recognize me?” The boy clutched a dramatic hand to his chest. “I’m heartbroken.”

  Now that she thought of it, he did seem vaguely familiar. It was in the eyes. They were a sparkling, vibrant shade of blue. She stared at him, trying to place his face. “Do we know each other?”

  He smirked, blue eyes dancing with mischief. “Seriously? You don’t remember me? Think swimming in a bathtub together. I’m probably the first boy you ever saw naked.”

  The puzzle fell into place. Those distinct blue eyes had once belonged to a much younger face.

  “Jemitra?” Sera said in disbelief as childhood memories rushed to mind. Jemitra Kumar was the son of one of her father’s law colleagues. When the Kumars used to live in Silver Lake, their two families had been close. The Kumars had left when Jemitra’s dad was transferred for some big case in England, and that’d been nearly seven years ago. Sera had been devastated. The two of them had stayed in touch through letters and phone calls for a little while, but eventually they’d grown apart. Distance, and all that. “What are you doing here?”

  His eyes were the same electric shade of blue, but he’d grown up a lot since elementary school. Jemitra was no longer a shy ten-year-old with braces and a weird haircut who loved hot sauce more than life. Maybe he still did; Sera had no idea.

  “It’s just Jem now,” he said. “And we’re back in town. I see your mom let you go to high school instead of keeping you home schooled. I remember you really hating that.”

  Sera smiled. “Took a lot of convincing. Back then, I was lucky she let me do Girl Scouts.”

  “You’re a senior this year, right?” he asked, and Sera nodded. “Me too. I was hoping I’d run into you, but Dad said he wasn’t sure you’d be here at Silver Lake High. He’s at a different law firm now, but I’m sure he’ll be seeing your parents soon.” He shook his head in amazement, staring at her. “This is so unreal—I can’t believe you’re all grown up and standing right in front of me,” he said, pulling her into a hug.

  “Me, either,” Sera replied.

  “Whoa, beanpole, you got big,” he said, grinning as he released her. “Good thing I was able to catch up a little.”

  Sera couldn’t help smiling at her old nickname. She’d towered over him by nearly a foot when they were both ten. Now they were both close to six feet tall. “I kept hoping I’d stop growing, but my prayers never got answered.”

  “You look great,” he said and squinted at her. “I remember you having darker hair. I like the red, though,” he added quickly. “Suits you.”

  “Thanks,” she said. She could hardly tell him that the deep auburn color was actually the natural one. Her nondescript, dark hair had been a shade concocted by her parents to make her less noticeable. She changed the subject. “So, is your dad back for good?”

  “Hope so.” Jem turned to a boy at the other end of the hallway and tossed him the Frisbee. “I’ll catch up with you later, Keith. Don’t think this game is finished—I’m still two under par.”

  Sera watched the other boy shoot them a thumbs-up, toss the Frisbee back to Jem, and saunter away. She eyed the disc, but Jem caught it easily this time. “You do know that’s not allowed inside, right?”

  Jem faked an innocent look. “Hey, I can’t control where Frisbee Golf leads me. Though in this case, it led me to you, so I’m glad I risked the consequences. It’s so great to see you, Sera.”

  “You, too.” She meant it. Seeing Jem made her think of simpler times, when she’d been unencumbered by the knowledge of who she was. For a moment, she let herself bask in a forgotten sense of normalcy.

  “Hey, Sera, thought we were meeting in the cafeteria,” Kyle yelled from down the hallway. “I waited there for twenty minutes.”

  “Sorry,” she said as Kyle strode toward them. “I was at the library, and then got to talking with an old friend. This is Jem. Jem, Kyle.”

  Sera made the introductions, noticing Kyle’s suddenly intense expression. Of course, he would be trying to decide if Jem was a threat—human, deity, or demon. He relaxed quickly, though, apparently having determined that Jem was exactly what he seemed to be—a boy. Sera knew they couldn’t be too careful these days, not even for old friends.

  “Jem and I grew up together, but he moved away when we were ten.”

  “That’s cool,” Kyle said. “So, you’re back in town?”

  “Yeah, my father’s working on some big case in the city, so we figured we’d come back to Silver Lake instead of staying down there. Nicer up here, you know.”

  “Yeah.”
r />   They fell into an uncomfortable silence until Sera cleared her throat and glanced at Jem. “You want to come to lunch with us?”

  But Jem shook his head. “I have to go see the guidance counselor and finish doing some transfer paperwork. Can I stop by later?”

  “That would be great,” she said with a delighted smile. Maybe a dose of nostalgia was exactly what she needed. “You know where I live.”

  “Nice to meet you, man,” Jem said with a nod to Kyle.

  “You, too,” Kyle replied. Jem took off in the opposite direction as Sera and Kyle walked toward the cafeteria. He shot her a look. “So, when did you see him naked?”

  Sera flushed. “You heard that from the cafeteria? And we were five, so get your head out of the gutter.”

  “I was already on my way to find you,” he said.

  She scowled. “And you have super immortal hearing that you choose to use to spy on me.”

  Kyle shrugged. “Part of my job is still to look out for you. I promised your dad, remember?”

  “How could I forget?”

  So not only were Mara and Ilani spying on her, but her dad seemed to have Kyle on permanent watch, too. It hadn’t bothered her before, but now the attention felt oppressive. Like everyone was expecting her to go off the goddess deep end. Even her own best friend.

  They didn’t speak again until they sat down with their lunch trays. Kyle promptly started hoovering his food while Sera relayed what Beth had told her. After his spying stunt, she wasn’t sure she wanted to tell him much, but Kyle was technically on her side. Still, she left out the part about Mara and Ilani appearing mid-conversation.

  “Any idea why there’re so many rakshasas?” she asked. “Or where they’re coming from?”

  “They’re not coming through the portals I control,” he said around a mouthful of nachos. “I’ll have a dig around and see what I can find out. What did Dev say?”

  “He hasn’t said anything,” she grumbled.

  “Still no word?”

  She shook her head. It was no secret that Dev had been busy convening the Trimurtas and convincing the other gods not to go into full lockdown mode after the nearly successful attempt to invade Illysia. She would have appreciated anything—a heads-up, a hello, a hey-just-checking-in. But other than the secondhand message from Mara, his communication had been sparse. She’d said she needed space, so maybe he was trying to respect her wishes. However, his prolonged absence stung.